Here’s a good lesson to learn entering 2014.
Having another dad and daughter talk, I learned the greatest lesson of all. I used to think the ideal relationship/friendship was growing with someone overtime and being able to look back and say, “Look where we came from?” I think that is just the sweetest feeling in the world. But reality just struck, literally. The conversation with my Dad began after my consistent views of the video Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union posted of their Christmas photo shoot. Anybody who knows me knows I been in love with Dwyane Wade since he stepped foot on Miami soil. However, looking into the face of his youngest son, who is adorable might I add, all I see is his mother’s face—that’s it! I’ll get to why I pointed that out in a minute.
Gabrielle and Dwyane, are one of the couples I call ideal, next to Will and Jada. So, I showed my Dad the video and he said and sensed, just like I did, the love and complete alignment between them two. In my head I always tried to connect and logically explain the dots between his 1st wife, and Gabrielle. In a second, it all made sense!
A light bulb goes off.
Although Siohvaughn Funches, Dwyane Wade’s former wife, was there with him before the Dwayne Wade you know today, it’s clear that as his career shot out the gate, he grew and she didn’t. Now, I’m not speaking on anything personal between them, but the obvious is, people have their own agendas or the lack there of. Their lives just didn’t match or align anymore. Is it anyone’s fault? No.
When the caliber of a person in any area changes, so should their environment. If you would’ve asked me about this just 2 hours ago, I would’ve pondered on this internally thinking how messed up that sounds. Well, the false thought comes from thinking, “Since I’ve moved on, I’ve forgotten and no longer care about who or what was there before my success.”
It’s called loving from a distance. Our environment affects the way we think, act, and live our daily lives. It’s just like a pair of shoes. A size 11 cannot wear a size 6. Although we love our loyal pair of size 6 shoes, we cannot wear them anymore.
Stop trying to patch, stretch, or repair those shoes. Stop trying to re-create memories. There’s no sense in forcing your foot into a shoe you can no longer fit. If I was once dirty, and cleaned myself off, how smart am I to lie back into the dirt I just came out of?
Not that smart at all!
As clear-cut as that is, some people will not understand and bluntly disagree with what I’m saying. Cherish your experience with some people, and move on.
Let’s dig a little deeper.
Ladies, what section are you shopping in? The women’s section, girls, or young adult? Fellas, same for you. Are you shopping in the men, boys, or young men section? This all determines who and what you become. Are your friends women, men, girls, or boys? Many successful teachers preach, you can tell a lot about someone from whom they hang around. Whoever you center yourself around, is who you will become.
Here’s a great indicator:
“If at any moment you feel uncomfortable advancing in front of the people you’re around, MOVE!“ #TimeToGo
New things, new memories, and new folk. As you grow, you move on. He or she, who doesn’t move on with you, stays at the last stop. It’s important to find people who align with your values. There’s no time for the regular stuff when you have some place to go.
All in all, I have to say that in some way I do believe in that “ideal relationship/friendship”. Figuring out who’s who, is the trick. #NotAnEasyTask
Find that balance and center yourself around people who strictly elevate you. #BigShoes Normal doesn’t apply to the abnormal, because they’re constantly creating a new normal. #ExtraOrdinaryLife #UpgradeYourValues
A message from Tyrese Gibson via Facebook:
“People are in your life for a reason others are there for a SEASON…. It’s very important that you get out of your emotions and make CLEAR decision about who and what belongs in your life or NOT…. You have people in your life that are waking up everyday trying to figure out how can they can STOP you from being all that God has destined you to be…. Pray and ask for clarity, and when God reveals that uncomfortable raw truth to you….. The next move will be yours….. Unapologetically get rid of all things that no longer belong.. I hope at least one person out there is listening and preparing their spirit to make those bold uncomfortable decisions….. Not everybody you show up with can go where God has destined YOU to be.”
Below is Eric Thomas, one of my favorite motivational speakers, aka ET’s video named “Be Obsessed with Improvement”. I’ve obsessively watched this video more than once, as if the message was going to change, but this post just revealed the reason why.