When are You Getting Married? When Are You Having Kids? The Questions You Can’t Escape When Back Home.

Don’t you just love the questions you’re asked when you go back home or visit extended family members?

The questions of when are you getting married and having kids? Isn’t it funny how they try so HARD to keep you from that when in your late teens and young twenties, then all of a sudden…BAM! The pressure is on!

LMBC-Sp

Then you see and hear people from back home say this to others that are married with kids. “It’s crazy to see how wonderful some of our lives turned out.” Slowly but surly, this look creeps across my face. –> -_-

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Turned out? To me, I’m ONLY 25. I’m at my prime. My peak. I still like to eat waffles for dinner for God’s sake. My life hasn’t turned out for me just yet, and I’m in no rush.

Let me get to why I began writing this in the first place. I’m going to try to make this story quick.

***Disclaimer: Please do not take anything I say of offense. Everyone chooses the way they want to live and I’m simply expressing my own way. My own preference. No one way is better than the other.

___

A former student in my program came back in town and stopped by to say hello. It’s the kind of visits that lighten up my day. 🙂

Let me catch you up to speed.

Before he graduated and left town, he was about to get married and had a baby on the way. Like…I literally helped him pick out a ring online. Exciting!

Today, his baby is 14 months old, he’s married, and working in Georgia.

Happy Newlyweds in Front of Mansion --- Image by © Greg Hinsdale/Corbis

We began talking about life and he said, “You know, when you’re in school you’re so ready to leave, but when reality hits you of finding a job and the pressure to provide for your family, school doesn’t seem that bad.”

Ohhh…haven’t I heard this story before.

With his family in Florida and his work in Georgia, the dynamic of having to leave your family to provide (make sure they eat, type of provide), is uncomfortable to me. Hearing the uncertainty in his voice and the compromising decisions he has to make to attend school, yet work and travel 2hrs away, was gut wrenching.

It broke my heart and you can tell it was weighing on him. I encouraged him as much as I could and ended with, trust the process.

His current reality alone, is the reason why I am not married with kids at 25. I don’t think, at the moment, that I share the capacity or space of dedicating my time to achieving the freedom of my time (enlarging my access to resources, finances etc.) and be a mother and wife all at one time. busy_mom

A wife and mother that I desire to be, that is. And again, I’m simply 25 years old. I still have my training wheels on. I learn new things and perspectives about myself and others everyday.I get nervous and scared and cry to my mom like I’m a 12 yr old sometime. Like I did today. lol

I know people do it everyday, but I couldn’t imagine having a husband and kids right now. A husband? Yes. But kids? Wayyyy too much. I can live with the climb between my husband and I, but not with kids. I need to have ALL that there is to have for their well-being and development. It’ll kill me, if not.

I’m a young adult gearing up to be an amazing, desirous, spontaneous, take your breath away, thorough, knock your socks off woman for my husband. And the Mom who has convinced her children that she has REAL superpowers, and am the one they can never live without. 🙂

Oh best believe, when those long-term goals are pursued, I’ll be a pro at it.

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Kudos to all of the young wives and mothers in the world! Hold it down, sisters!

Until it’s my turn, I’ll continue eating strawberry waffles when I please. lol This is totally random and I’m trying to end, but I remember the last guy I spoke to. I told him flat-out. Listen, I’m a simple, go with the flow kinda chick. I sometimes eat waffles for dinner. You like waffles? Haha!

It just feels good to be comfortable with myself. 🙂 There’s on small desire I have, and that is to faintly hear my husband be awed and say, “Look at my wife.”

Alright I’m done!

Published by

Sarah Lee

Welcome! My name is Sarah Lee and I'm a Business Strategist and social entrepreneur who loves the outdoors, a good book, and scary movies year round! Throughout this quirky, rich, and mysterious life of mine, I genuinely love to 'share' my experiences as a learning tool. I thought, what better way to track my level of growth than by sharing my experiences and the lessons learned thereof, than in my blog? A wise woman once said, "You are your own masterpiece, therefore, instead of mastering it, master you."

2 thoughts on “When are You Getting Married? When Are You Having Kids? The Questions You Can’t Escape When Back Home.”

  1. As someone who is now in my late twenties, *sigh* people have finally stopped asking me when I will have kids. I got married when I was 22, and my husband and I were together since we were teenagers, so people just assumed that we would dive right in! Many years later, we are still happily married and childless. And, contrary to what some people think, THAT’S OKAY.

  2. Carson, you are among the chosen few! lol 🙂 I love a love story with history. To be able to say, this is where we came from, and now we’re here, is wonderful!

    Enjoy your time with your husband. The time will come for kids, when it comes. Good luck with everything with you and your husband!

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