It’s well over a week (well, only like one day over) into the new year and I’m just now checking in. So bad! With all good reason, though.
I have NEVER experienced losing someone so close to me that it affects almost everything surrounding you. Family, finances, communication, emotions, relationships…you name it! I haven’t even begun to wrap my mind around everything because of how chaotic things have been. My only desire is to MOVE THE HECK ON! But, with all of your might, it seems very resistant on every attempt.
In true Sarah Lee fashion, wherever there is an open door I take it!
Life is a daring adventure…either you do or you don’t.
Outside of my personal transitions, I’m now back into FULL BLOWN entrepreneurship mode. Upon hiding out in the mid-west, I’ve taken upon a few projects to ramp up my new normal and the overall tighten the passing of a parent puts you.
Have you ever been strangled? (I hope not) That’s what it feeling like almost everyday!
As I sit here at the dining room table, next to the fireplace with an amazing view of the mountains, instead of feeling anxious about all that I have on my plate (like on a normal day), I Am extremely grateful for this space of peace. Honestly, that’s all I wanted or want post my dad’s transition. PEACE – aka a space to deal with everything.
And then there’s everyone back home and everywhere else buzzing around, asking questions trying to figure out where I am and who I’m with.
By the way, why does a MAN have to be the reason why a girl picks up and runs away for space? smh I’m not that girl, folks, so cut it– no offense to those that are. People and their opinions…
One of my biggest fears is, I don’t want any of what has happened to affect me in the future (emotionally and mentally), because I haven’t given myself enough time to deal with everything. Sure, I Am forever changed, yet there are detrimental things that on an emotional level can affect me if I don’t take time to just DEAL.
Now that I’m here (in a kind of paradoxical situation), although it’s not ideal, I know it’s purposeful. There are so many decisions left to make and it’s an extremely tough position to be in when you don’t have the person around who you should consult with before making these tough decisions. I may sound optimist and insightful, but it’s a daily struggle to NOT be flat out angry at everything and everyone, including my dad. Terrible isn’t it? It’s the most confusing thing ever.
Even though I am rarely in this weird, “I don’t know” position, here’s what I know for sure.
“Life is full of lessons. However there are no right or wrong answers. Just messages that we hear and follow.”-Unknown
Let this adventure of blind faith through happiness and sometimes sorrow, continue.
Thanks for listening.