Real Friends. How Many Of Us?

I want to share this because energetic exchanges are real.

Today while I was out I met a male friend (it’s a fresh friendship) for a few minutes. I was getting an oil change and he was in the area.

Our interaction was fairly normal up until the last few seconds before departing. He’s a pretty cool guy with a pretty calm spirit. However, when we went our separate ways, I felt empty. It was as if someone sucked the life out of me.

Now, I was having a pretty good day and my spirits were high. What the hell just happened?

I’m a tell you.

I have quite a few male friends and it’s pretty easy befriending males, not that it’s any different with women. I am fully aware that some male “friends”, although they don’t say it, want to be more than friends. I can tell. It’s clear as day. Which is fine, whatever.

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But then there are the men who befriend you, want more, push for it and when you give the clear signal that either you’re not ready to go there quite yet or not at all, they begin to do things.

If they’re not using their words aggressively, they use their energy and/or treat you in a passive aggressive manner to get you to somehow yearn their company. That or they attempt to convince you that there’s something wrong with you.

I personally keep company with very few people and I’ll dismiss myself without warning if I feel something isn’t right. The truth behind that is, I’m very sensitive to other people’s energy. I’ve been that way since I’ve been a child. Therefore, I HEAVILY limit, govern and monitor my interaction with others. Religious institutions, professions, status, gender, money etc does not alter or offer up some type of exception to that either.

So no, I’m not being a B word or think I’m too good of a person for you.

Does it mean I care about someone any less if I suddenly disappear and am no longer around? No.

I just know that sometimes people’s intentions (both for men and woman) aren’t of the best intentions.

I’m not in denial. I get it. I have a pretty strong personality and it’s not widely popular, especially being a woman.

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But I want to make it clear that Sarah Lee comes first. I have to protect her space at all cost. Whether it’s a friendship or a relationship, I don’t care who you are, that will never supersede the importance of my sacred space.
In conclusion, I give all gratitude to the divine for supplying me with an abundance of amazing male and female friends that make it easy for me to sniff out who are not. I encourage you to strengthen your discernment and never compromise your space for an old or new friendship/relationship that doesn’t feel right.
I’m just sharing my experience.
~Xoxo
P.S. I’m not sure how I’m going to handle this new friendship. Instead of breaking it off without warning, I’ll attempt to point out my concerns. I think. *shrugs

Here’s why we all need a Beth Pearson in our lives

I just got finished watching the 16th episode of This Is Us. I purposely missed the day it initially aired because I prefer to watch really good shows with little to no commercials.

Episode 16 named ‘Memphis’, opens up with Randall’s wife, Beth, going to bat for him after he had another anxiety attack. Randall is an extremely smart and successful stock and options trader (I think!) at a financial firm.The pressure of handling new and old accounts, having his biological (terminally ill) father come back into his life while maintaining the natural order of his life and home, the pressure has got to him yet again.

Susan Kelechi Watson’s plays Beth Pearson and I over love her character. My mom doesn’t, but I do. She thinks she’s a little stubborn. lol To me, Beth represents all of the strong women who doesn’t take no sh*t from no one – not even her mother in law.

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For so long society has painted women like her as difficult and tough to deal with. Because “wifey” has to have a la, la, la attitude, be aesthetically perfect and willing to perform any and every sexual act you prefer with the hopes you’ll stick around or never think of touching another woman. Because men will be men, right? *insert the emotionless emoji here

If you’re really watching, This Is Us reveals time and time again why Beth’s immovable force of an attitude serves a HUGE purpose. Not only to Randall but to everyone.

Although we all need a friend like Beth Pearson in our corner, I’m really speaking to the men on this one. So fellas, here’s why you should want someone like Beth Pearson as a wife.

(Be warned. If you haven’t watched a lick of this show, some of what I’m saying will probably fly over your head considering that fact that I will be sharing play-by-play examples to support this specific post.)

Alright, here goes!

  • You’re protected, even when you fail to protect yourself

When Randall brought his biological father to his home, Beth didn’t waste any time to figure out if William, Randall’s father, was taking advantage of her husband. She didn’t beat around the bush either. She’s a straight shooter. No bird’s getting by her!When you have the world on your shoulders, you not going to need a partner who’ll fold when you do.

When you have the world on your shoulders, you not going to need a partner who’ll fold when you do.

  • She’ll raise some amazing women

This is a no brainer. We all know that little girls reflect their mother and little boys (when older) will seek to find a woman who reflects his mother.

While Randall deals with the gravity of his father dying, Beth understands that she doesn’t have to only be strong for her husband, but she has to get her daughters through this pivotal moment too.

When you don’t get it right, she will.

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  • She’s Balanced

Although a bit abrasive (without emasculation) in order to protect Randall, Beth is also clearly funny, soft, and extremely supportive. The counsel that gives Randall is astonishingly jarring in the most intimate way. It’s sweet, sound, and aggressive – when necessary. It’s interesting to watch Randall consistently approach his wife in the most vulnerable and child-like way. Randall’s character defies the male stereotype, for sure.

(It’s interesting and very touching to watch Randall consistently approach his wife in the most vulnerable and child-like way. Randall’s character defies the male stereotype, for sure.)

Appreciate a woman who can pretty much do it all. Her power should not intimidate you but empower and excite you.

I’m writing this because I want every woman who does not budge at b*tchness and who is unapologetic at being the bad guy for the protection of their own, to be proud. Know that you are the foundation of any and every empire ever built.

Never allow yourself to accept the negative stigma given by society because your way of caring doesn’t fit the societal standards of what a woman, wife, and mother should be.

Without hesitation, continue raising hell for those you love.

Xoxo.

 

Pastor O. Jermaine Simmons, give him a break?

I want to first caution my readers and let you all know that this post is outside of the norm of what I would normally write. This story has been floating around the internet and I was waiting for it to pass, but I woke up this morning (after seeing yet another article) and I felt I needed to comment. “They” will NOT let it rest.

Pastor O. J. Simmons.

For those who don’t live in Florida, or anywhere nearby (perhaps you’re in a different country), Pastor Simmons is a pastor (duh) in Tallahassee, FL serving one of the largest congregations in Tallahassee. He’s pretty popular and well-known in the area, if not Florida as a whole.

I was never a member of his church. Although he is a great pastor, his church was never my style, much like Bethel Baptist (another well-known church in the area). I only interacted with his church for a few non-profit initiatives. To me, it seemed that he is, exactly who he presents himself to be and even after this situation, I still don’t doubt that.

For those who do not know him, never been to Tallahassee, or in the U.S., you must be asking why am I telling you any of this. Before I write what happened, I’ll drop a picture of the headline that has been circulating the internet below. Feel free to do your own research.

Popular Florida Pastor Is Allegedly CAUGHT IN BED . . . With WIFE Of A Church Member . . . And Is Nearly SHOT!! (Read The Shocking POLICE REPORT)

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Pretty bad, huh? The comments and opinions are worse! If you seen the movie Friday, life definitely imitated art for sure! Again, feel free to do your own research.

Here’s why I’m publicly formulating an opinion.

My Daddy was a pastor since I was 9 years old and he’s been on his Jesus mission since he was 18– I think even younger than that. So, you can imagine that I came up in Christianity (religion) OUT THE WOMB.

But anyhow, the moment I seen the headlines and figured out it was Pastor Simmons, disappointment rang in my spirit. Beyond that, empathy rang louder. Why? How?

Again, I came up in Christianity out the womb and I can tell you right now, that shit ain’t easy. I was as straight-laced as they come and they still talked about me. Still do…

Being a leader in a church, leading people who, although they respect you and your gift, they’re also waiting for something to go wrong and wondering what the hell is going on in your home, your bed, and in your pockets. I KNOW! I’m not speaking against the church, but I know enough to know… I lived it and am still slightly living in it because I’m still referred to as Pastor Lee’s daughter.

Whether you like my opinion to empathize with Pastor Simmons or not, I cannot participate in verbally burying Pastor Simmons.

“Be Impeccable With Your Word Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.”

From The Four Agreements it says to Be Impeccable With Your Words. As a leader and someone who promotes and lives for inspiring others, walking them through any and every situation with my words, with Pastor Simmons I hope people can

Again, you DO NOT HAVE TO AGREE WITH ME. I can empathize consciously because I’ve been places high in the church and low outside of the church. People talk anyway.

I also know that some people are just called to have a bigger platform to serve others, mistake or not, he’s gift is STILL his gift.

P.S. Because I know some of you need to hear me say, he WAS WRONG! But the truth is, I empathize with Pastor Simmons. He addressed his congregation immediately the Sunday following. I say let the man and his congregation deal and move on. Mistakes happen in your home and my own on a daily basis. Lucky for you and I, we don’t have Pastor Simmons platform.

 

When you’ve got it all, yet you’re still unhappy…

Let’s cut to the chase!

When your success is tied to achievements, guess what’s going to happen? Just guess.

Let’s use weight loss for an example. Here’s the conclusion from a woman’s perspective. You’re going to lose the weight, get a smaller waist, and a bigger butt and STILL feel as if you’re lacking something.

Listen…

If you’re working hard at something, you’re bound to get what you want. Here’s the thing, though. You’re going to get what you want and then sabotage it.

But why would you do that, right? Great question! Here’s why.

Deep down you already know that you’ve tied your success to something or someone who can eventually leave or be taken from you.

Therefore, before you lose something or before someone walks away from you, you’ll rid yourself of it to feel as if it was a decision you made ie. had control over. Either that or you’ll always be peaking around the corner. Looking for something “better”.

Now tell me, how many times have you done that?

No worries… I’ve done it too. The fear of losing something or having someone walk away from you is real.
Here’s the short answer to solving this very real issue, although it takes a looooong process to completely grasp.
You’ve gotta be happy and content with what you have NOW. Right now! Every roll, love handle etc. All of it!
Have goals and aspirations, yes. However, don’t let those goals and aspirations (“losing the weight”) make up who you are.
Never let it take the spotlight.
You are the star of the show.
Whether you lose the weight or not. #rememberthat
The same applied for relationships. It’s never them, IT’S YOU!

What is Self-Love Anyway?

The lines of “self-love” and being what others define as “self-love” is definitely blurred.
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In the movie Dope, everyone should check out that movie on Netflix by the way, there is a scene in the movie where a certain black market dealer shows Malcolm (the main character) two designer handbags and asks him which is fake.
 
Of course he couldn’t figure out which was which, so the dealer responds in saying, “It doesn’t matter if the bag is real or not…all that matters is how you carry it.”
 
Let that sink in.
 
I made mention of that to say, self-love is according to your own standards. Who cares for others to weigh in on your public expression as authentic or a practice of self-love or the lack thereof?
 
Curly, straight, real, or fake. As long as you are comfortable with yourself 1st – naturally, and in that same element with your partner/spouse when home, what’s the deal in having to display or prove your naturalness to all of America?
In that manner, I believe self-love boils down to each person’s level of comfortability.
 
No one has walked the same path.
 
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Some people, although incredibly gorgeous naturally, may not have been that way all their life.
 
Or, life and the circumstances contained led them to be more introverted with their personal display, and it turns out that being in their natural state is not comfortable to be on display for everyone at all times.
 
I dig all the movements to promote self-love, as they too have their place in servicing others. But, lets allow people to express themselves as they see fit for business, personal, or pleasure without all the attacks.
 
This is all a growing process. Let’s allow everyone to grow at their own pace without judgement.

My trip to the city that never sleeps.

Last night at 4am I got in from a 4-day trip to New York, and I have so much to share on just about everything from economics, race, culture etc.

If I shared everything all at once, this post will probably turn into a book so I’ll do my best to spit everything out, in no particular order.
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New York is such an amazing city. Outside of the big city and bright lights aspect, it’s really the people who make New York amazing. Honestly…

The different cultures that fuse into one chaotic interconnected way of life is beyond words.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve visited New York before. Just not like this. I’ve always been in and out.

I had the chance of spending 3 days at an Airbnb spot in Brooklyn before making my trek up and down NYC my last few days.

While spending my 3 days in Brooklyn – Crown Heights to be exact – I met a woman from Germany and another from Korea by way of California. On my last day, I met Adrian. A newly licensed attorney from Canada. We sparked a very enlightening conversation as I was concluding my stay in Brooklyn.

Already, my sense of fulfillment was achieved considering how organically we all fit in one shared space.

I tell ya… Society does a hell of a job making us believe we’re all so different and incapable of living amongst each other in harmony.

Total bullsh*t!

Amref Health Africa, an organization based out of Nairobi, Kenya, is committed to providing proper health care to sub-Saharan communities in Africa. This past Wednesday they held an ArtBall that I so happily attended. I’ll be running on their team for the TCS NYC Marathon. Tell you about that later. 🙂

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The ArtBall was something straight out of a movie. High end cocktail attire, open bar, great food, amazing people…you name it. It was spectacular!

The following day I got the chance to attend another art gallery in Manhattan. It was in the lower east side Manhattan are. It was the complete opposite from the ArtBall. Snapbacks, eccentric attire, underground artists and poets and more.

There, I met a lady around my age, about 28 years young if I remember correctly. We spiraled into a conversation about men, race…a whole lot! The conversation developed from a basic who I am and where I’m from conversation.

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She was from Germany. She told me her husband was Jamaican. Looking at her you would think her husband was European or American, even. But nope! In my head I was like, you go girl! lol

The conversation got deep when she tried to make sense of the racism in this country. She gave me her experience moving here at the tender age of 18. Did I mention that her 1st husband was Puerto Rican and Black?

Yea.. So you can imagine that she shared some pretty interesting experiences with me. Because I was from Florida and she visited about a year ago and had some not so nice moments while there, she asked me, How did I manage to live in Florida? As an African-American woman, of course.

Wow, right?

She went on to say something that shook my perspective about my race and culture. She said, “Moving here I realized that the black man does not respect their women, so why would they respect me?” She said it was something she recognized as she evolved her awareness while living in the city– east side Manhattan.

She said, not only that, it seems as if they’ll protect women outside of their own race versus their own.

Do you know how that made me feel?

It’s different hearing something like that from someone who shares the same skin color as you. It sounds like you’re complaining or attacking your own in some way. But, when you have someone outside of your race and culture say that, it’s definitely a wake up call.

I’ll be sharing part 2 soon.

Financial Literacy Pt. 1

Hello readers!

I know it’s late, but the chaos seems to die down around this time and my flow state is currently at its peak and I want to Share something with you all.

Since the summer I’ve dedicated my life to money. Not so much earning, well yes I want to make my money bend and curl in stacks, but I more so made a dedication to learning how much works.

Financial literacy is the ability to understand how money works in the world: how someone manages to earn or make it, how that person manages it, how he/she invests it (turn it into more) and how that person donates it to help others.

Everything has a system and the most mysterious and hidden (not really but you get what I’m trying to say) is money. Not necessarily how to make it, but how to KEEP IT!

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As I increase my financial literacy I want to help you increase yours too. Because we never learned about investing, money management, or how to apply those two factors towards benefiting from our taxes in school, naturally – due to ignorance, we’re in debt.

I just found out that college debt is the worst debt to accumulate. I wish somebody would’ve told me that before I took out nearly 45-50 thousand dollars for school – don’t ask. All in the honor of a degree. Ha! smh Dooped.

To kick off this financial literacy talk, since we’re on education, I want to first let you know about EdX and coursera where you can take free online courses from top universities like Harvard, Columbia  & more.

“The more you learn, the more you earn.”-Tai Lopez

I’m taking a Spanish course, AP Physics I, Social Psychology, Philosophy I, and more. They also give you an option to receive a certificate for only $50. There are top PhD professors and specialists taking courses from these two outlets.

TAKE ADVANTAGE.

DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a financial adviser, nor stock broker. Do your own research, as I do my own. Don’t take my word for it. I’m only giving you crumbs to nibble on. PLEASE, PLEASE DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH! I also welcome the comments of experienced financial and investment gurus. I want to learn as much as I can, and I’m sure my readers do too.

***Financial Literacy Tip:

As stated by The Black Hedge Fund Group: This week 234 U.S. corporations will be issuing dividend checks – I’m sure there’s more internationally.

Dividends checks= Passive and residual income–making your money work for you.

Google dividend producing stocks and research your options to opening a brokerage account (which are taxable as opposed to an IRA/401(k) – tax differed).

Allan Greenspan said, “The number one problem in today’s generation and economy is the lack of financial literacy.”

Well…I got you covered!

The Human GMO. What are we eating?

This maybe a little far-fetched, but just as scientists are genetically modifying our food, in some sense aren’t we genetically modified too? If you look back 10 years ago, we – America, wasn’t this overweight, cancerous, nor diabetic.

Where’s all of this coming from?

I know this isn’t a normal topic I post on, but more than anything, my health – and yours –  is vital to our everyday life.

Through research and numerous experiments, I wanted to share how FOOD has shaped our existence.

A week ago I watched Food Inc., and today I’m watched Hungry for Change. Both documentaries has two different angles, however both films repeated the same question and conclusion. “10 years ago this wasn’t a problem. What changed? Food!” You can find both films on Netflix.81aUxm992rL._SL1500_ MV5BNDM4MjY4NjU1Ml5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNzg4NzA1Mg@@._V1_SX214_AL_

The scariest part about this whole experiment was finding out that our grocery stores are the new fast food restaurant. No…our food is not delivered fast, I know. But the poor nutritional worth of the food from fast food restaurants are the same as in our grocery stores.

Tai Lopez explains the good life as:

  • Health
  • Wealth
  • Love
  • Happiness

What would I be to inspire you without highlighting the nucleus of your success? Your health. If you’re rich and prosperous, yet you don’t have good health, you will not be happy. Unless you’re happy getting the best hospital care.

Hungry for Change explains the truth behind “diets”–fat-free products. Food Inc. reveals how your meat is grown, handled, and manufactured.

I can tell you more, but I suggest you view the films for yourself. I will say this, though.

Trust me… We don’t know what we’re eating. 

I thoroughly believe in working on the mind just as hard as we workout the body. But, in the same breath, working on the outside doesn’t do much if you’re not working on the inside. It’s a terrible thing to look healthy, but in turn not be healthy.

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Because these days, even vegetables are genetically modified…

What’s in your refrigerator?

Party Line Politics: What you NEED to know!

As animated (unreal) as all of the politically charged videos. comments, and current events seem coming down my TL, I have one question. Because these days, as someone said, you can’t tell if a political debate or a campaign rally is a skit off of SNL. Here we go.

So, do you know the way you can live above politics?

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And no, not schooling. Knowledge.
School= Information.
Knowledge= Using any/every information received.
 
You almost NEVER hear rich people, even the upper middle class, complain about politics. Never! There are rules to every system aka the game. Play according in your favor. #leverage  
16 A man who wanders from the way of understanding Will rest in the assembly of the dead. 17 He who loves pleasure will become a poor man; He who loves wine and oil will not become rich. 18 The wicked is a ransom for the righteous, And the treacherous is in the place of the upright.…
Proverbs 21 16-17
>>Make more money by increasing your knowledge. 
We are at a time in our nation when it’s necessary to plant and build. Now is the time. There are two sets of people. Those with their heads down planting and sowing, and the others? They’re with their heads up yelling and debating about what they seen in the media.

Which set are you apart of?

Party line politics…

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It’s 2015. Have you been called crazy yet?

Everything viable and brilliant invention (basically everything from the light bulb before and after) on this planet was once heard by numerous people and thought of as crazy, impossible, or just heard in one ear and out the other.

Innovations= crazy ideas.

But lets stop and think for a minute. It’s crazy that I can connect with people half way across the world. I mean think about. I, or we, have access to multi million and billionaires. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and the newest live broadcast, Periscope.

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Often times I think about the aircraft and how at one point or on numerous occasions, someone who heard of the idea thought it was stupid, impossible, a waste of time, or even the devils work. Lol

Sometimes it disappoints me that people lack vision. “It’s a shame that people cannot, or will not believe what they can’t see with their own two eyes”. That quote (slightly altered) by Night Crawler from X-Men moves me everytime.

All in all, I’m ready to create a space for those who have visions and ideas 10+ years beyond their lifetime. We’re in the 21st Century. Crazy ideas should be embraced. They need to be embraced.

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I think the quality of life would be advanced light years quicker if we honed in on the minds that naturally innovate.

Why does success and the way to success have to be so linear and limited? Why? Following the old school way of college, marriage and finding a good job simply doesn’t work these days.

Multiple routes have opened up. My advice is, get a little crazy, dream it up, and see what others can’t. Bring the newest thing and idea to life. Enlighten me. Enlighten us. Enlighten yourself.