Real Friends. How Many Of Us?

I want to share this because energetic exchanges are real.

Today while I was out I met a male friend (it’s a fresh friendship) for a few minutes. I was getting an oil change and he was in the area.

Our interaction was fairly normal up until the last few seconds before departing. He’s a pretty cool guy with a pretty calm spirit. However, when we went our separate ways, I felt empty. It was as if someone sucked the life out of me.

Now, I was having a pretty good day and my spirits were high. What the hell just happened?

I’m a tell you.

I have quite a few male friends and it’s pretty easy befriending males, not that it’s any different with women. I am fully aware that some male “friends”, although they don’t say it, want to be more than friends. I can tell. It’s clear as day. Which is fine, whatever.

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But then there are the men who befriend you, want more, push for it and when you give the clear signal that either you’re not ready to go there quite yet or not at all, they begin to do things.

If they’re not using their words aggressively, they use their energy and/or treat you in a passive aggressive manner to get you to somehow yearn their company. That or they attempt to convince you that there’s something wrong with you.

I personally keep company with very few people and I’ll dismiss myself without warning if I feel something isn’t right. The truth behind that is, I’m very sensitive to other people’s energy. I’ve been that way since I’ve been a child. Therefore, I HEAVILY limit, govern and monitor my interaction with others. Religious institutions, professions, status, gender, money etc does not alter or offer up some type of exception to that either.

So no, I’m not being a B word or think I’m too good of a person for you.

Does it mean I care about someone any less if I suddenly disappear and am no longer around? No.

I just know that sometimes people’s intentions (both for men and woman) aren’t of the best intentions.

I’m not in denial. I get it. I have a pretty strong personality and it’s not widely popular, especially being a woman.

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But I want to make it clear that Sarah Lee comes first. I have to protect her space at all cost. Whether it’s a friendship or a relationship, I don’t care who you are, that will never supersede the importance of my sacred space.
In conclusion, I give all gratitude to the divine for supplying me with an abundance of amazing male and female friends that make it easy for me to sniff out who are not. I encourage you to strengthen your discernment and never compromise your space for an old or new friendship/relationship that doesn’t feel right.
I’m just sharing my experience.
~Xoxo
P.S. I’m not sure how I’m going to handle this new friendship. Instead of breaking it off without warning, I’ll attempt to point out my concerns. I think. *shrugs

Your success is not who you will become, it’s who you are now.

When we listen and hear all of the phenomenal success stories of widely known individuals today, it’s not really who they are now that gives us excitement.

It’s, actually, the person who they were before the fame, glitz, and glam.

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Jim Carey.

He was a broke, struggling actor who day dreamed about what his life would be like as a successful actor.

Tyler Perry.

He was physically and sexually abused as a child. After turning his story of forgiveness and redemption into the stage play I Know I’ve Been Changed, the 28-year-old playwright was broke and even lived on the streets on Atlanta when he couldn’t make ends meet.

Oprah.

She grew up poor and became pregnant in her early teens. When she landed a job in her early twenty on air, they called her ugly and fat. The station even wanted her to change her name. Apparently Susie was more fitting and catchy for television.

Oprah as a Susie? Ew! lol 

Morgan Freeman.

Found himself in the unemployment line at age 40.

Growing up I did everything perfect. I made sure of it. Not because I was often praised for it, more like ignored because of it, but I was a child who held being efficient in high regard. Being the best.

However, I learned throughout middle school on, as I became more social, I lacked the ability to relate to others. I would expect people to have the same desire to be efficient like I was, but the world doesn’t work that way. I learned that the hard way, pissing people off by lacking empathy and sometimes compassion. In a relative way– I’m not a robot.

While in college, I opened up to the experience of making mistakes. More so allowing myself to do so without overbearingly crucifying myself for it. Religion and strict parents definitely played a part in that habit. Monstrous.

Much like Jim Carey, Tyler Perry, Oprah, Morgan Freeman, and the many other successes of the world, I knew I needed to allow myself to be human (A little messy and authentically imperfect.) in order to be great. I mean, isn’t that how we learn and gain our own individual perspective towards life?

Me.

Quits a well paying job at age 26, moves back home, and opens up her own business to create new ways in her home town. With no end in sight, off she goes again with her dream tucked away in a little black book.

True story.

Ralph Waldo Emerson — ‘Life is a journey, not a destination.’

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It’s everything leading up to the story that counts. For me personally, I think it reminds others that they are no separate from them. I still believe that, *success is within finding ‘self’, and once you’ve found that, you’ve certainly found success.

If you look at it a different way, technically you are a success as we speak. You just haven’t realized it yet. 😉

*That was the first quote I created when I launched my blog. 🙂

What and Who is Influencing You?

Everything influences your life..even the music you listen to. Whatever you desire in life, you’ll have to MAKE it your life. Eat, breathe, and sleep whatever that thing is. It should become your world.

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You control the influences in your life!

Whatever, or whomever that doesn’t align should FALL to the wayside. That’s if your serious at least. Most people come to me and say, “Sarah, I miss it.” I say if you do, you’re not ready for anything else.

I have a distinct rule about spending special moments with others. Friends, strangers, including the people I date. I’m VERY selective. Especially when I’m in an intimate and vulnerable space. 2 to 1 chances I don’t do it. I’m personable, but not vulnerable. Not because I’m a snob or bougie – as most are quick to label me, but because I can’t STAND the memories that linger. It’s like I take chucks of people with me. An in retrospect, we do.

**I believe for anyone, it’s a privilege to see those sides of intimacy and vulnerability.

My mind is a vault that collects memories as I go, and it’s painful to remember the people who are no longer in my current reality. Therefore, I’m extra cautious and selective.

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I shared that to say that, whenever I am missing someone, or certain space, I know I’m not ready to move on. For someone like me, it takes time. It’s also a clear indicator of what I need to work on. Because like I said, my memory is a vault. It has something to do with a small attachment as well. I know me. Yes, I get attached. Not a crazy attachment either. Emotionally..

Once you know who and what are the strongest influences and impressions on your life, you’ll begin to understand how much of a dose you need – or if you need any at all.

So, be careful of who and what will make up your world. Everything must align. Be selective. Be sure. Be distinct. Whatever, or whomever that doesn’t align should FALL to the wayside. From the music you listen to, to what you view (watch), to the people you share a space with.

The Bible says to guard your heart. I say, GUARD EVERYTHING like your life depended on it, because it does.

Everything WILL, HAS, & IS influencing your life.

Why having Two-Faces or more is a PLUS

“Let me know
Do I still got time to grow?
Things ain’t always set in stone
That be known let me know
Let me…”- Kanye West, Street Lights

*previously posted on Facebook

It’s not my job, nor anyone else’s job to state who someone is as a personal individual.

We don’t spend vast numbers of intimate and vulnerable moments with the people we encounter or interact with in person, or via social media.

You see some of you THINK you know the people you are around and you don’t. Large part of it due to the fact that we don’t know how to spend TIME with each other anymore.

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We have a miraculous way of building up images and persona(s) to show people because we are afraid of showing who we really are, wondering if people will accept it or make fun of its differences…we don’t know. So we don’t display it–our true selves.

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But can you blame us?

We need to stop calling people one thing because we’ve experienced one side of them. To personally put myself on the chopping block, I am a completely DIFFERENT person outside of work and “professional” environments. But YOU will never know that, nor do I desire to show EVERYONE I meet that side of me. It’s not necessary.

Because I believe who you are inside is inmate and should be cherished.

My gift, talent, skills etc., are given and built to display, share. The same for yours and others. What you do personally has NOTHING to do with me except the person you kiss, sleep, and hug every night. The people who share INTIMATE spaces with you. The ones who know the questionable things you’ve done, what makes you cry at the drop of a hat and things that deathly scare you.BestFriend1

So, as you are entitled to your opinion, have that.

But, don’t go calling a spade a spade when you haven’t been in multiple REAL life situations with people. What you do everyday…go to school, work, campaign, go clubbing, have lunch, girl talk, football games, date for a year on and off etc., are play-play life moments. To me anyways.

When some REAL ish happens I promise you either two things will happen. Either someone BRAND new is going to debut or someone you know will spring into action.

That ladies and gentlemen are the things SARAH LEE watches, values, and practices in her life. Also, it’s why I find it unnecessary to show everyone, me. Except the people who deserve it and matter. Because it’s not a nice feeling when people don’t understand you and hold it against you or misinterpret the things you do and say.

Don’t clutch that opinion too tight. It’s gone f you up. But time has a crazy way of showing what is what.
“Think differently, but don’t believe everything you think.”
| Excuse my REALness.

*song that inspired this post